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2005-08-14 - 1:59 p.m.

I wrote parts of this to the young one today......

My family has a tradition of being loyal to objects with engines. We tend to keep them around long after they are repairable or useable. If you proceed as described with the blow by blow repair of the engine and valves you will spend some money but in an incremental manner that is more suitable to your budget. I understand the need for something like the motorcycle more than you know. I liked riding them when my family had them. My dad still has my Kawasaki 250 in the garage thinking I will come home and make a Pink video or something. It's interesting that my dad still thinks I'm like 16 or something.

I think I have the same problem with men. I am loyal to all of them. It's disgusting in a way but endearing after a fashion. I have a driveway full of discarded boyfriends. My roommate's dad, still there, Big, who still calls for stupid medical advice all the time and to tell me he's scared, The Young One, who I am good friends and occasionally have carnal knowledge of because it just happens that way and he kisses well and cares about me, the IG who I have no idea why I do that cept that the sex can be fantastic, the paperboy because we are in the same career area, and I write to the divorced guy who was insane enough to reenlist in Guard because he needed cash. I initially wrote to tell them although I supported his decision I thought he was nuts. He writes to me often about how much he loved me; thank goodness he doesn't have my real email address or phone number.

Yeah........and .......... the wonderboy...that will be okay. I'm just careful to stay away and not get involved with the crazy. Although I think about it. I can train my brain accordingly. I know in my mind it's not wonderboy....... I'm attracted to....... it's the idea of wonderboy. The boy-writer who needs to be saved/fixed/formatted/trained and then he will dedicate a story to me. Or it could be that I like that there is someone I can talk to about music and movies or who will actually watch movies with me. Or again that connection-feeling thing. It takes time to build that and I am impatient. I know that this isn't a permanent thing but it makes me feel young and that sort of feeling is in short supply sometimes.


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