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2005-01-06 - 2:16 a.m.

I keep wondering if I will have to go back to work in Yoga pants. The scar around my navel is annoying. I put on jeans and my navel is irritated. I wonder how many pairs of loose work pants I have? Can I go back to work in pajama pants? I have spent the last three weeks in them. Iíve barely worn a bra.

My other incisions are healing well and I donít think I will even notice them. The one on the belly button is fairly deep and itís just in a bad place. At times like these I think wow, that tummy tuck scar would be way more annoying but the idea of a flat stomach is appealing. I would also like the teeth whitening and lasik but I am not sure the teeth whitening would work on me. I have so many caps now I donít think it would make a difference to cap the rest of them so they would look nice. I never thought I would be so vain but I am.

I want to maintain what I have. I donít look very old except when Iím tired. My wrinkles arenít bad. Sometimes itís tough to look at my face cause itís so fat. I wish I could lose the weight Iíve gained in the last year. I need to lose it. Or at least fit back in my cute clothes. I will work on this when I can manage to exercise again.

I wish I had more confidence.


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