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2003-01-07 - 12:47 a.m.

Scenes from a Commitment Free Sexual Relationship

I am laying in IG's bed....the world's loudest and most obnoxious alarm has gone off at least twice. I hit the snooze and try to go pee. When I come back to bed he says to me..."I thought you left again" I said "No, but my knee hurts and I don't feel like vaulting over the end of the bed to get back to the warm." He cuddles up next to me and sighs...I almost fall back to sleep. Then the bad alarm starts again. He hits the snooze again and I slide down his body. I take it in my mouth...he proceeds to groan but I know there is nothing to do about this morning wood he's got. I know he won't go pee so it could be useful to anyone. Such a shame...but it's the way it is....

He sits up and reclines against my knee which is bent he says..."this is so comfortable" I say "say something nice to me for a minute" He hesitates...."Well you are an intelligent woman" I interupt "Is that all you can say?" He gets out of bed....and pauses to again show me his erection. I say "that's useless to me"

He goes down stairs and turns on the television as loud as it will go and goes outside. I pick up my clothes and start downstairs. I do some damage control in the bathroom and realizes that my hair looks frazzled from being smooshed into the pillows not so long ago. I have that early morning sexy bedhead going on.

He comes back in. I try to find my bra by the door. I ask "is it cold out" He says "well it's okay but you won't be wearing a bikini anytime soon" I walk into the light in my bra and say "Well it will be a long time before you see me in a bikini" He looks at my breasts....

I check myself in the bathroom mirror one more time....breathe in....and walk over to him in the recliner. He is watching Fox News...they are talking about some fugitives wanted for questioning. I no wonder he has such a skewed view of world events if most of his news is coming from the folks at Fox.

I take a deep breathe and say....while looking him in the eye...."I know you just think I am using you for sex but I really need you to say something nice if I ask you to say something nice....and intelligent is that all you can come up with??? I know I'm smart. Hello! I'm a college professor sometimes." I kissed him and left.

I started my car and went to mart to get my oil changed. I was one of the first ones there....I walked around and looked at stuff for awhile. Got some waterproof masacra since that Rimmel stuff I bought smears when I need to put the drops in for my contacts.

The whole day I thought...gee he must think I am mad at him. I didn't mind thinking that but I was a little scared that he could call and say 'sorry don't want to see you anymore psycho hosebeast"

He called the next morning. I was online looking at Uncle Bob and some idiot was trying to IM me. He was on his way to Beatrice. His opening was about how long a golf ball has contact with a golf club during a round of par golf. I guessed under a minute and it was some insanely small number. I also made a joke about a better stat for my golfing would be to calculate how much contact the ball has with my playing partners head. I also mentioned the beverage cart girl that had a head injury from that last summer. How she needed all sort of rehab...

He hesitated. Took a breath and said "Is there anything we need to talk about?"

Me: about what?

He: Yesterday I got the distinct impression you were mad at me when you left. I am not very good at dealing with relationships but I really thought you were mad.

Me: I was sort of because I ask so little of you. When I say I need you to say something nice I mean it. You're smart you know you need to say something nice. I am not playing games I am asking for what I want. You might think that is psycho or insane but it is the way I am.

He: I may not agree with it. I just don't understand. I am smarter than you think when it comes to things like this.

Me: I have respect for you. I know you are smart. Despite making fun of you or goofing on you I have respect for you. This wouldn't be happening if you weren't smart. I have some standards.

He: I dish it and I expect to get it back. Are we okay.

Me: I guess.

He: Okay. Have a great day.

So what do I make of this conversation?

I am an idiot. I need to find a real boyfriend. Not some selfish man with a large penis that seems to have me in some sort of stupor. I was mad at him. I want him to say you are great in bed. Or I like what we do in bed. He doesn't need to kiss my ass but he does need to say something nice.


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