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2005-08-01 - 12:27 p.m.

I wish I could write in the third person. That would so totally rock if I could do that but it's a tough transition. I don't think I write that well anyways so I have no clue what my third person voice would sound like. I know the first person voice I have is whiny and kind of sucks because I only tend to use it for the recording of events. I don't try to write fiction. I use to love writing fiction as a kid. I loved writing poems but now I look back and I wonder about all that because I don't think I write well at all. It's probably because I don't practice enough. My imagination is seriously under utilized in my life. It's a negative thing in my life I use my imagination to think of very negative or bad things. I don't use it to visualized good things or pleasurable things. I wonder if you can train your imagination. I will have to see if there is way to do that. I want to think about things that feel good or help other people. I don't want to think about bills, my career, and my complicated personal life.
Some books like "The Artist's Way" deal with that a bit. It talks about clearing the clutter from your head so you are free to create. I'm not sure I have the discipline to maintain that. "The Courage to teach" also has a chapter about imagination and teaching which makes me want to work harder at incorporating the some components of that into my classrooms. I usually have a few people whose imaginations that work pretty well. Some need encouragement. I need to set the tone. I need to set the example on this.
I have to come up with five things that I can do to incorporate that into the course materials I am suppose to be working on for the fall.
I think writing about things helps me figure them out. I should write more about how I think, how I want to teach, and how I want to create. I should write about what I want to create. I think I use too much energy on things that should be simple. That's a common complaint of creative minds. I think it's because we have so much going on that we try to divert ourselves from thinking about things that will make us feel good and continue to over think the things in life that should be simple.
My editing skills for my writing aren't the greatest because I am not good at dissecting and looking at my own work. I am not comfortable with it. I need to dive into it and live it. I am so afraid of it sometimes. I mean I tape things, I take pictures, I write and I don't do it for an audience. I have no confidence in my work. There has to be some way of dealing with that issue because I would create more things if it wasn't such a painful process.
I love when I finish something. But I usually have to go thru three drafts before I feel that the work is good enough to at least be seen by one person. After that I usually do a last tweak to it. For writing I will let things sit for a day or two and then come back to them. I rearrange my structure, sometimes work on making my tenses agree and just clean it up. I wish I were better at this process.


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