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2010-09-24 - 10:33 p.m.

If only I had known that six months from this last entry I would break my back and have cancer. CANCER. I would go from struggling with my weight to having no control because of the medications I had to take and the pain I endured with this. I look at these diary entries and think about the place where I was and the eventual destination and it hurts. I wish I had moved my ass more and cried less. I wish I had been happier and more loving to everyone in my life. I don't have regrets but I wish I had enjoyed myself more.
I can try to do this now after I deal with all of my hip pain or the cause of my hip pain.
I want to do this now.
I want to make a real try at my life.
Figure out how to be happy and normal
Not overeat, not shout, not be frustrated.


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