2006-04-19 - 1:50 p.m.
"Oh yeah I went over to their house and they were kiblizoid on the couch after watching movies all day and geting stoned".........
I guess my stoner wonder boy found his poet stoner girl. Guess it's better than lawyer girl who won't come around.
He hasn't called in more than a week or spoke to me except briefly so yeah we're done.
I miss it but what can I do? I am just oan over emotional stupid person with unrealistic expectactions and delusional thoughts.
I need to wake up. All I have is this white box in the middle of the page to console me.
Itís done. I am so done. I will cry later but right now I feel like a crushed thing. Really crushed and all of the life and breathe done. What kind of life can I lead. Where can I go?
Where is my common sense? Why canít I think kindly of myself?
I hate this.
My self worth can no longer be wrapped up in my appearance or false crap like that. Itís so easy to write that sentence but how can I make myself believe it?
Why donít I believe in myself? How can anyone believe in me if I donít believe in myself?