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2006-02-25 - 3:19 p.m.

All I have been doing lately is working. On program review, the film, and other stuff. Lots of homework. Trying to keep up with the whole grading thing.

It was my birthday on Thursday and I had a great day. My classes were pretty simple because on Wednesday night I stayed at school till midnight doing my homework. Then I went downtown to drink. After my 40 day sobriety binge. It was good but I felt pretty lightheaded after two drinks. I listened to some music provided by wes, carl, and dirty. I tried to ignore wonderboy cause he was drunk. I could tell cause he was touching people even me.

He kept asking me if they needed to get me something extra for my reaction to that is yikes.....yeah me on some mind altering substance in a house full of college students. Although part of me was into this idea another part of me wasn't.

I worked till 6....and I heard the stair door and there he was. Nicely dressed and shaved. Interesting. I told him I had to go home plus my head ached terribly. I went home and finished up my gag reel that I wanted to show at the party. Finally after the phone ringing forever and the dog being a pain in the ass I decided I wasn't getting a nap.

There was the inevitable discussion about where to eat. As usual there is no where in this god forsaken town to eat. We did go to the second time there today cause KC. and L bought me lunch there which was cool. MY sandwich was hot. Wonder boy the elder was there with someone from school who he hangs with. I had two beaver beers. There was some discussion of whether The Dawg should buy my alcohol for the night. Wonder boy and Dawg did rock paper scissors for it and Dawg lost but he ended up not doing it....surprise suprise. Some other folks were there who were chemically altered.

We went to the liquor store and then back to my house where the DVD finished encoding. It was cool because Wonder boy was dressed up and he even cleaned his car for me. It was nice. Then we went over to the radio house. There were decorations. I drank I think one blue moon and then I didn't really drink much else cause I went upstairs where Carl and Wes were hanging out chemically altering themselves. That was fun. I felt happy and light. I went with c, t, and l to the bar to drink a shot and hang out for a few minutes. I ended up buying some beaver beer which other people drank. I think I had two....because I was still altered from before. I was relaxed.

I sat on the wonder boy's bed and hung out with him and carl. Then a bunch of other people came down and hung out. The C. came down and lay on top of wonder boy and I. I was sure he had a boner from this.....C. was talking about how she didn't want to go upstairs cause she didn't like to have sex with her boyfriend cause he wasn't aggressive enough. Some others argued about how love should be enough. And sex could change. I tried to keep quiet but I looked into her eyes and I said we should talk. I felt so bad for her. Plus my leg hurt from her laying on me. Finally Wonder boy said I am going to get a beer and got up. I went to the bathroom and then came down and sat on the bed. I thought about how I was going to finish the movie.

I think they took C upstairs and most people went home because I went up to get a drink and no one was there cept for the Dawg passes out on the couch I made him lay down and take off his boots. I put a blanket over him and turned off the TV.

Wonder boy said why don't we hang out and watch this movie in my room. I tried to protest in a feeble way. I said hey we are in a good place right now. Why do we want to mess it up? He said it will be okay it's your birthday. I said....We just can't talk about it afterwards because that messes us up.

I lay down with him under the covers. I don't think we even got five minutes into the movie when he wanted to make out and I was again. Are you sure about this? He said I want to make you happy. I said I am happy.

He said it's time to kiss me. The rest is sort of a blur except for him asking in a declarative way. Do you love me? I didn't hesitate, hem or haw. I just said yes.

I was a little shocked by that but I was altered. I was relaxed so I think that's why that came out.

He then went into one of these long things about how everything is complicated for him. I tried not to think about it.

He said don't make a mark on my neck. He said that his chest was all bruised sometimes. I said I know how you feel.

It's nice to sleep with him but cold. Next time I need to wear pants or something.

He wouldn't let me touch him. He said it's all about you. I thought what the hell.

I guess he liked my underwear. He talked about it enough. He said you are all curves aren't you.

The way he says things is full of wonder. That's part of the reason I call him wonder boy.

I just have to keep it together here folks. Not let my heart get to out of hand and not ask for more than he can give.

We slept but he had to get up early to cut wood. I was sort of tuckered out and I stayed on the bed. He crawled back in with his clothes on. He was warm which was nice. He was peaceful. He looks young when he sleeps.

I was very happy on Friday and I am still happy today. I think it's that stuff or is it him?

I want him to stick around in my life for awhile. That would be good.


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