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2006-01-02 - 3:59 a.m.

My neck hurts. I don't know if it's from sitting my ass on the couch for the last two days, sleeping wrong, or holding my head at a weird angle while editing. The right side of my neck just hurts terribly and if I try to move it I wince. Ouch. I wonder if there will be anyone in the doc's office tomorrow for some muscle relaxants or something. I took a v@din but it didn't seem to work.

Last night I did nothing for NYE. Nothing. I watched 25th hour and that's about it. I watch 'My Own Private Idaho' today and 'The Ballad of Jack and Rose." ehh.....nothing knocked my socks off....25th hour made me feel a little raw because of the NYC footage but Spike Lee always makes me feel a bit home sick.

I was happy to do nothing. Or I tried to be. I have to get used to being alone since that seems to be what will be happening in the future because woman my age are invisible particularly if we are overweight. I have to work on that. I have to stop eating whole chunks of cheese and other snack foods. I need to be more careful about foods.

My brother got arrested today for a parole violation. The info is sketchy at best. I just hope it was a paperwork snag because I thought he was done with that. My sis called crying because she feels like crap cause she didn't want to post the bond for him because she thought it was 60 grand.....I was like crap....did he rob a convenience store or something?

Sis is so freaked about her relationship with him. It's never been good. I think my brother has the worst luck of all of us. He always gets in trouble for things...some of them are his fault and some of them aren't. I wish he could work on this because I know it bugs my dad. I mean I am the fiscally irresponsible child but at least I make cash to cover it or I try too.

Tonight the roommate tried to buy some hugely expensive thing for an online game on eBay and the dude would only take a money order or check. I told him to email the dude to see if he would take paypal so he could use the great gift cards he got from his aunt and grandpa.

I am still dreaming or hoping that wonderboy will kiss me again. Dumb I know. I want to sleep next to him and have him hold me. I need to get a life cause I know he never things of me that way.

Tonight I talked with B about what I will be calling the wonderboy project. or project wonderboy. He jokingly said you should do a documentary about that. I am thinking about it. In the meantime I have to get his camera that he wants for his birthday cause he did the film with us.

Ahhh... the film. At this point I just want feedback on the thing and to say that it is done. Or the short version is done.

I think my New Year's revolution/resolution should be to get more sleep, lose weight and become a filmmaker for real.


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