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2005-08-07 - 1:39 p.m.

Various Emails. why? I don't know.

Email to the Young One in December of 2002.

I am a little sad today another one of my childhood heros has died. Joe Strummer. I truely loved the Clash as a teenaged much so I snuck out to see them three times once at Shea Stadium where they played with the WHO! which still had a living Keith Moon and at two divey bars in CT.........I couldn't get into the legendary concert at BOND's because I was too young and my fake ID had been confiscated. (an old clothing store building in Times Square before Times Square became the Disneyfied thing it is now....BOND's hosted many up and coming punk bands in the early eighties....)...first Joey now Joe....I am getting old....


January 13th 2003

Pillow Fight at B-Rads
Cool.....let's have a slumber party.....we'll invite all the people we think should be sleeping together.


Cool. I always knew you were a winner. I am so happy for you. When can I see the video and the big award?
How is the play going? Do you like it? Do you have a big part? Are you a scarey person in it? Is it okay working with Andy? Are you surviving Andy? How's your social life? Are there any cute smart girls in the play? Is Cox getting you down?

Did you see Chad XXXXX and Eric YYYYYYY entryin the HotFilm fest thing? They are WSC too.

I've been sick. As usual. I think they figured out my immune system isn't working. I don't have anything really serious but my body isn't producing the antibodies it needs to ward off viruses. So we are working on that. My diagnosis is Epstein Barr virus. Or Yuppie Flu as it was known in the '90s. No real cure except for rest, exercise, no stress, better nutrition, and some steriod therapy. I am still working but everyone leaves me alone cause of everything. I feel tired much of the time. I don't drink anymore cause I fall asleep after one. I am teaching six classes so I think that has something to do with it.

I hate advising the radio station. HATE IT. I have to babysit people who don't do what they are suppose to and I live in fear of the FCC. I have two guys who are complete smart alecks and try to piss with me all the time in some mean ways. I ignore them and give them bad grades. Everything is automated so I live in fear of a computer crash. I have an air shift. 'DJ for a day' I invite people in and they play their favorite music. The managers all sleep with one another so that makes it interesting. We had a catfight the other day cause two girl managers had a disagreement. arghhh.....

TV is okay. I have a clutch of lesbian film makers who make cliched little works but at least they finish them. Dancing Cats, Horror Movie Parodies, etc. Their next big project will be a film called 'Emily's Choice' I believe there is an actual sex scene in there. I also have a very talented young woman who makes great commercials. I have lots of starry eyed guys who don't finish a thing. Including the spawn of the Cowboy Poet. The Boy. I don't have a clue how to help BoY. He is lost.

(Edited to pull the name out)

Oh yes. And find attached something my dad picked out for me. He decided since I was ill I needed a big 4x4 Dodge Truck. It will be arriving after Thanksgiving. Check out the color on this thing. Actually he got some money from selling his house so he tried to do something nice for each of us kids......I'm kind of stunned by his kindness. I know I will be happy after the snow falls....cause my little honda now has 270,000 miles on it. This thing only has 74,000 or so. One of the lowest miles used vehicles I've owned.

Email to THE BOY. 1/6/05

Note to self: I think I wrote this while I was on drugs.

How are you? Was Christmas okay? Have you found a job?
Are you getting around in the snow? Do you need a
snowblower? I have one but have no idea how to use it
but I guess I will have to figure it out.

I read your script. I think it would work better as a
novel because it's so talky. It's sort of like a Dave
Eggers book or something. I was reminded of the Ice
Storm for some reason when I read it. I don't know

It also reminded me of all of the discussions I use to
have late into the night with Kel's godfather and his
dad prior to his birth. We didn't smoke pot or drink
at that point in time but I think we were all high on
caffine and youthful idealism. Lots of college folks
have these sorts of friends. Lots of people talk about
these sorts ideas when their conversations are fueled
by alcohol and weed. The whole Tracy thing has me
wondering though. Everyone has a Tracy. I was
someone's Tracy once. I also knew at least two guys
like Frank and one like Jeb. I think there are alot
things in that script that could be used for cinematic
purposes but it's still a very talky script.

I do think you have to clarify that Frank loves both
of the sisters and you need to somehow get Tracy's
crush on Frank a bit clearer to the viewer. I didn't
really get that from the script but maybe I skipped
something or misinterpreted it. An interesting story
for me to read and someday we'll talk about it.

The montage email scene works pretty well as a summary
but the ending ehhh....we need more clarification. I
also need to understand why Tracey decided to marry
other than she has the kid. It seems like she would be
too smart to do that or something but maybe that's me

Have Bryan read it cause he'll be more scathing in his
critique. Plus he is much better writer than I am.


I need to watch everything. Someone told me Napoleon
Dynamite was the movie to see. I have spent most of
my 'vacation' sleeping and reading and visiting
doctors. I was planning on going to Sioux City and
seeing movies but I never made it out of my house
cause of the stupid surgery and complications. Luckily
my liver is okay although it's spotted and I have a
kidney infection so I know why I felt like poo for the
last week or so when I was suppose to feel better.

I know you think I sleep all the time but lately it's
because I've been in pain. When I am in all kinds of
pain they usually give me the sleepytime drugs to make
it go away. This time it didn't work out as well as I
would have liked. On a more personal note and maybe
this is TMI, it was also a bit tough this season
because I finally had to come to the realization that
my ex....was really the ex cause he finally got some
balls and started to sleep with someone else. I got
all freaked cause he went to meet her parents over
christmas. He just casually announced it to me in an
email. I hadn't spoken to him in awhile and it made me
feel weird. I also realized that I was little more
attached to my booty call boy than I should be. He's
nice and all that but the man gave me blank CD-R for
Xmas. Not the sentimental sort and he's more
conservative than I can deal with at times. At least
he's not associated with the college so that's a plus.
wish I could take this stuff more like a man but it's
not working out that way and taking all kinds of
narcotics isn't the best way to deal with this sort of
I also had to field calls from my crazy friend over
the break cause she managed to get herself into more
trouble. I need to get some normal friends that don't
need a babysitter.
So yeah, that's my story.

On a happier note, this weekend one of my former
students is premiering their movie in Omaha and your
favorite local actress is in it, Sheila!!! They shot
it last summer. Would you wanna go? I am not sure if I
want to go yet cause I get so tired from doing just
regular stuff around here plus I'd have to drive. I am
trying to get a few folks from WSC to attend. What do
you think?

Here's their website.

edited to protect the innocent or guilty)
Oh yes, the script program should be arriving on
Monday so we'll see if I can make copies of it for you
to use.

talk to you later. it's late and I need to get some
sleep so if call tomorrow and I'm sleeping that's why.

June 12th 2005

So yeah Boy, how often do you lie to yourself? How often do you lie to other people? That's my I am high out of my mind question this evening. I lie to myself probably half the time....and to other people....depending.....hmm.....maybe about a quarter of the time.....

June 26th 2005

So have you heard from the girl? Did you hook up with the young one? Inquiring minds want to know.

No I am not drunk but I took a painkiller tonight because i am in pain and it's driving me nuts. Plus I am trying not to call various people. It's important to make sure you don't drunk dial while on painkillers. Or at least it's important to me not to do this.

I have work all next week but than I am thinking of taking a vacation of sorts. I need to stop the soul sucking progression of crappy merchandising jobs where I get yelled at by girls named megan on my cell phone about how I called in at 9:01AM instead of 8:59am.

I need to watch more movies, read more books, and write. Writing is cathartic but it's difficult for me because I know it's for me and not an audience. Plus everyone who I read on the internet is a good writer.

So today's soul searching question even though you weasled out of the last one.......or never answered it......what is your favorite song and why?



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