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2006-04-19 - 1:50 p.m. "Oh yeah I went over to their house and they were kiblizoid on the couch after watching movies all day and geting stoned"......... I guess my stoner wonder boy found his poet stoner girl. Guess it's better than lawyer girl who won't come around. He hasn't called in more than a week or spoke to me except briefly so yeah we're done. I miss it but what can I do? I am just oan over emotional stupid person with unrealistic expectactions and delusional thoughts. I need to wake up. All I have is this white box in the middle of the page to console me. It�s done. I am so done. I will cry later but right now I feel like a crushed thing. Really crushed and all of the life and breathe done. What kind of life can I lead. Where can I go? Where is my common sense? Why can�t I think kindly of myself? I hate this. My self worth can no longer be wrapped up in my appearance or false crap like that. It�s so easy to write that sentence but how can I make myself believe it? Why don�t I believe in myself? How can anyone believe in me if I don�t believe in myself?
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