2005-08-20 - 4:37 p.m.
Empty Nest Yesterday, I was sitting at a table of six women. Two of the women have no children. Four of the women have children. Two of the women were single parents and one women is recently divorced but lives with a man, recently became a grandma. They wanted to talk to me about the empty nest syndrome. All of them told me I would have empty nest syndrome and long for my child to come back into my life when he goes to college. I don't think that's the case. I think it's different because I have son and I have to partition my heart to deal with separations that happen. When the roommate goes away I know he is coming back. I miss him sometimes but I don't think I have the bond that these women have with their daughters. I think Bryan has that with him. Does that make me a bad mother? I don't know. I am not sure how that makes me feel. Shouldn't mothers miss their children? I mean I miss him, pray for him, worry about him, and have hopes/dreams for him but I am not sure I will have an ache in my heart for when he leaves me. When he was younger I didn't like it so much when he was gone for long periods of time but that didn't happen to often. I was usually grateful for the break. Or I needed the break. It is strange how our small workplace has so many single moms. At least three in the same school. No other single parents that I know of in the other schools. The single mom professor is less than 3% of the population of overall college professors. On top of that most of the 3% were married at some point in time. I feel strange about this topic because previous conversations with the clutch of single moms were about having another child before it was too late. This is wonder I ponder every month now. I keep thinking I like my life the way it is. I like life the way it is. Another child would be difficult. I always think of the risks and then I think of how much more suited to being a mom I would be now then before.