2005-07-27 - 11:54 a.m.
For some reason I called this 'don't forget the sunscreen'. These recent entries are things I've written to work stuff out and I'm just posing them now. I don't know if they have a point but they help ease my mind around these difficult issues.
Why do I feel this weird about this? I need to just take it easy and keep doing what I've been doing. The love of my life is moving in with his girlfriend something he never approached or wanted to do with me. That hurts big time. I can't live with a broken heart or even a bent one. Life is too short.
He was the kind of boy who pulled your pigtails to get your attention in the school yard or the kind of kid who wrestled you to the ground so you'd know he wanted you to notice him. He will keep pushing your buttons cause he needs a response, the attention.
It was a punch in her substantial gut. She had meant to say child of the eighties rather than born in the eighties. He looked at her with his blue eyes and said I was born in the eighties. From then on she wasn't sure what to say. The truth hurts and beauty fades even though our minds are sharper than they should be. She had always thought she'd be a writer but that didn't happen did it. She always wanted to be beautiful and that happened for a fleeting instant from time to time. It was something that was obtained in the right light with an open mind.
He looked at the skinny girl in the tank top and shorts as she passed by. If only a good mind could be contained in that sort of package would he be happy. He had the same problem as the insurance guy. These smart aleck class clowns want the smartest, funniest, mouthiest girl in the room wrapped in a beautiful wrapper with the sexual skills of a courtesan and the docile nature of a farm animal. They want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed that will leave them alone when they want and come after them when it's convenient for them
The examination of this sort of male had become amusing to her. They were the same regardless of their age. 20 or 40 all these boys needed the attentions of a smart girl. Someone who could outtalk them and outwit and outplay them. Sometimes that wasn't difficult to do with these self involved over emotional boys. It was amusing on occasion and annoying at times when all she wanted to do was get laid in a simple animalistic fashion. The rules of attraction were strange. She always wanted the funny smart boy. Now it seemed like all she wanted was the young boys and it scared her. Her mind rejected this want and canceled out the need with rationalizations and reason on occasion. Although there were times this didn't always work in practice it was nice to have a good theory about it.
